Did you say something?
Response to HBR the power of talk article.
My Perspective on my linguistic and communication style from previous and more current years worked. (written- spoken recording on the main blog page )
My thoughts
Throughout my experience in the workplace, I have discovered that my linguistic style mirrors much of what Deborah Tannen describes in her writing as the more feminine characteristics. Although they certainly are not cut and dry male and female personalities I found much of this style very true for myself personally. So, I would like to share a bit about how my style of linguistics has both positively and negatively affected my work communication.
Naturally, I would say I am a more indirect person, I'll apologize just for the kind gesture, I will usually always share credit on projects and will try to avoid what I deem unnecessary verbal opposition. This I found has had both positive and negative outcomes for myself based on my team members and boss's style of communication. Things were not always understood in the same way, and people ended up picking up extra work regardless if they could or not, this is what negatively affected my work. At one point in time, I was working two jobs at a time sometimes 50-60 hours a week and it was due to my lack of being direct with my bosses and dislike of verbal opposition. Both my female managers had what Deborah Tannen described as more masculine linguistic styles in some ways as they were very confident and direct people and used the one up one down power dynamic. On top of this, they both were not very organized people. Because of my styles and their styles communication was not always smooth when scheduling and planning between both jobs. Both my managers would butt heads a lot as they would rub each other the wrong way and fight over time. They both would see their work as the most important and communicated that to each other which caused many issues.
The biggest problem I had with communication at work was me being non-direct and avoiding opposition. Because of this I end up covering for one boss in particular constantly. I just could not bring myself to tell her I could not do it. I ended up doing much of the manager's work while she did her thing as I lacked the directness that was essential in this situation. Now my other boss would try to get me to come in for one-hour intervals at a time and pay me for one hour. To get there and back to the store it would take about an hour and I was paying more in gas than I was making again because of the power dynamic and my natural indirectness (and she found a loophole in MB labour laws). I learned very quickly in this situation that this was not going to work and I needed to learn to assert confidence and be more direct and it fixed that situation for me.
There are positives to my linguistic style as well that I noticed. Most of my co-workers had a very similar linguistic style to my self and this enabled us to have very smooth communication and a positive work environment. I also gained lots of priority in shift choices as I was willing to cover for people and do the extra that needed to be done. As a result, I was rewarded with seniority in hours. There were very little to no work arguments with my boss or co-workers and I was requested to be worked with often due to how well we all got along. My less dominant personality allowed those who desired a more vocal role to have it and me to enjoy the amount of quieter attention I had and preferred.
These linguistic styles perhaps make me seem like a less confident person, I am usually not the main speaker in a conversation and prefer to think on questions I am asked rather than blurt out the first answer I believe to be true. Throughout my school and work life, I have realized that it is important to understand many different linguistic styles and identify when your message or involvement is perhaps not understood. This has helped me when diving into two new job opportunities in more professional settings. Building and working on my communication, not simply sticking with my natural default reaction. Learning to speak and communicate in new ways.
“Communication works for those who work at it.” John Powell
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